Try Reading a NEW Language

Boring presentation. Group of young business people in smart casual wear looking bored while sitting together at the table and looking awayRecently I attended a conference in the Northeast.  I was speaking in the afternoon so I got there early to do some prep work and networking.  During the lunch break, a few speakers came up to do some announcements.  Now a big reason people attend conferences (myself included) is to network.  With over 300 attendees, there was a lot of networking going around at all the tables.  People then began to leave and with about 20 minutes left of lunch break, only 1/3 of the room was full.

The featured lunch speaker was from the national chapter of the association and she was going to talk about trends in the industry and how the national chapter would help.  She was very enthusiastic and full of energy.  Unfortunately, those who actually listened to her numbered about 10 and they were up front.  The rest of the room ignored her.  Seemingly oblivious to this, she talked on and on from her prepared script.  It was a bit sad.  She seemed to have no clue that she was talking to nobody.  The paltry applause she got at the end from the remaining audience had to alarm her but she smiled and walked off the stage.  Either she pushed on professionally and then went into the Ladies Room and had a meltdown or she was simply clueless.  I felt very uncomfortable for her but it reminded me of the importance of reading an audience.  Learning the communication that body language provides us. Then, reading in that language.

Back in the 1960s, a researcher named Albert Mehrabian did a number of studies on communication, particularly which form of communication could influence the most effectively.  Although his data was coopted and inaccurately compared (this is the common statement that 55% of communication is from body language, 38% from tone of voice, and 7% from the words themselves) it’s pretty clear that body language talks. Loudly.  You have to be observant!

So if you find yourself getting the opportunity to speak to a large group or you have to speak to a smaller group to maybe make your case for a new idea, be mindful of the following:

  1. Empathize with Your Audience.  If it’s near lunchtime or the end of the day, be brief.  Nobody will complain if you end early.  If it’s late afternoon or midmorning, the audience may be tired.  Acknowledge all of this verbally. “Because it’s late in the day, I’ll make my remarks quickly so we can all get out of here sooner.”  Trust me, you’ll win big fans!
  2. Speak a Language the Audience Speaks.  Use their jargon, not yours.  Use examples that relate to them, not you.  If you use audio or video examples, use ones that relate to this particular audience.  Tie the unfamiliar to the familiar (again, familiar to them) and you’ll transfer your knowledge to them.
  3. Tell a Story.  Nothing communicates like a good story.  Told correctly, it will capture your audience and hold them to the end.  But you need to practice the story.  It should also be YOUR story.  No more “Starfish on the Beach” or “The Commanding Officer of the Battleship Arguing with the Lighthouse” stories.  If you want to look like a complete amateur, just use tired speaker-stories like these.  Be original and be YOU!
  4. Watch the Body Language of Your Audience.  This is where the lunch speaker failed.  If she had noticed people leaving or ignoring her, she should have stopped going from the script and tried something different.  Maybe even stopping to just tell a story.

Even if you dread it, there is no better way to connect, convince, or control a group of people than to speak in front of them.  Don’t waste the opportunity by failing to connect.  You always connect better if you read their body language and engage them on their level.  When you connect, you can convince.

How Well Do You Sell?

Above view of consultant shaking hands with customerIf you’re anything like me, you probably hate selling.

Most of us get our hate for selling from early childhood experiences like selling Christmas cards door to door or worse, having to sell Girl Scout cookies outside of a store to total strangers.

Then of course we deal with salespeople as adults which can put us off even more.  The car salesperson who we just know is dishonest and wants to screw us over.  The cold caller who pesters us to switch from Dish Network to DirectTV.

As someone who actually has to sell in order to get more clients, I’ve seen both extremes in the world of sales.  On one hand, there is the salesperson at the booth at a trade show who is too afraid to look at your when you walk by, instead peering intently into their smartphone.  Then there is the other extreme.

On a recent vacation to Cancun, Mexico I walked into the crowded flea market next to the Senor Frog’s to buy some souvenirs for family and friends.  I was about 10 feet from the entrance when I was immediately swarmed by vendors selling anything from t-shirts to plaster skeletons to spoon holders with Our Lady of Guadalupe on them.

“Where are you from?” they asked.

“Tennessee” I replied.

“Ah Tennessee Titans” (they pronounced it “Thennessee Thitans”) and proceeded to show me a plaster skull wearing a Titans football helmet.  They offered me a beer, probably to relax me and intoxicate me enough to suddenly develop an obsession for turtles sculpted out of abalone shells.  As it happens, I walked out of that market with a lot of stuff I really didn’t need nor intended to buy.  At least I was able to negotiate with them which meant I was only a little ripped off buying Mexican stuff that was probably made in China.

But it taught me a sales lesson:  There is a balanced approach to selling something to someone.

And just to be clear, all of us are salespeople.  We may not all sell products or services but all of us have to sell our ideas or opinions, or even ourselves to a hiring manager.  What is the best way?

  1. Build a genuine rapport. One of the T-shirt vendors in Cancun asked me where I was from originally which of course was California.  He said he was from there and lived there 6 months out of the year.  He referenced places only a Californian would know so we hit it off.  After buying stuff from him, I asked which vendor he trusted to give me the best deal on some plaster jewelry boxes.  He walked me over a couple of booths and introduced me to a guy who I then bought from.  When we went back for more t-shirts a couple days later, I went right back to his booth and we bought from him.  Rapport builds trust.  We buy from people we trust.
  1. Be Assertive, but Not Aggressive. Assertive means asking for the sale.  Aggressive means insisting on the sale.  I recently purchased a new Mazda CX-7 in Clarksville, TN.  The salesman spent about an hour demonstrating the features and benefits of the car.  At no point did he pressure me.  Finally though he asked, “What will it take for you to purchase this car from me today?”  Assertive?  Yes. Aggressive?  No.  Had he asked me that in the first 10 minutes it would have caused me to walk away.  But after an hour of conversation, it was an appropriate question.  After some haggling, I bought the car from him.
  1. Ask for the Sale. That’s the point of selling isn’t it?  Don’t expect the customer to just open up their wallets to you and ask you to reach inside.  This means you have to do the hard work to build rapport and explain the features and benefits of your product, service, proposal, or SELF.  Then, when it’s time, ask for the sale.

Selling is difficult and scary but by practicing the techniques and then putting yourself into that assertive mindset, you’ll be able to do it.  Trust me, I do a whole lot of selling in my business and even though it doesn’t come naturally to me, I’m getting better all the time.

All of us need to sell.  The question is:  How well will you sell?